


Finding Yourself

by krashlynlives



Category: Krashlyn - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:11:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4908379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krashlynlives/pseuds/krashlynlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in Ash and Ali's second pov. A fic that shows how their love evolves over time. They meet each other for the first time in college and slowly find themselves falling in love with each other. This was a new feeling for both of them, and they kept their feelings a secret from each other, their friends, and most importantly from themselves. Will fate bring them together or end up pulling them farther apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Absorbing the college feel, meeting new friends, and becoming part of something in Ashlyn's pov.

Fall of 2012 was finally here and you have never been more excited to start something new, somewhere new. Chapel Hill. You were starting your college career at The University of North Carolina; finally becoming a Tar-Heel which was one of your life long dreams. Being completely entranced by the chants and cheers from upperclassmen as you walk through campus you find yourself not listening to the group of friends you're walking with. "Ashlyn!" you hear your friend Brittani shout while she slaps your arm. "Have you heard anything we've said?" You shake your head no as you giggle and playfully hit her back. You met Brittani and your other friend Tobin at orientation during a basketball meeting and the three of you clicked instantly when you went up to them and asked if they liked to have a good time. You have always been known to be the life of the party so finding out that these two weren't completely straight edge made you feel at ease.  "We have to go find Whit, she should be around here somewhere" your friend Tobin says. You haven't actually met Whitney yet and neither has Brittani. Whit is hometown friends with Tobin, one of your teammates, and your fourth housemate. 

"Whit! Whit!" you hear Tobin yell as she sprints across the cafe area to jump on her friend. "Whit, this is Brittani Bartok, and this is Ashlyn Harris. These are the girls I was telling you about that I met at orientation!" Tobin explains. Right away you notice that Whitney seems to be more of the quiet type. The kind that is all work and no play. You extend your hand and the first thing that you hear from the stranger is "Oh so you're Ashlyn. I hear you're quite the free spirit." Right away you feel like there is going to be a bit of clash between you two, but you decide to look passed that and have a good weekend. The four of you walk back to your dorm room which is located on the other side of campus. You're all staying in Melville 4 which is one of the townhouses located in a quad known as "The Zoo." 

The Zoo is crazy. There are hundreds of people sitting on their stoops, throwing footballs, long-boarding and roller blading on the sidewalks blasting music. You finally get to your stoop which you share with your neighbors and you see five guys sitting down with baseball gloves in their hands with grins spread widely across their faces. "Hey guys!" "We're your neighbors. My name is Troy, and that's Zack, Ryan, Chris, and Drew. Drew doesn't actually live with us, he lives over in Melville 2." "Hey" Tobin says in a soft yet flirty tone to Troy. "This is Ashlyn, and that's Brittani and Whitney and my name is Tobin. We're on the basketball team." Tobin has struck you as the flirty type as soon as you met her and you found it comical as she bats her long eye lashes at the boy from New Jersey in front of her. You let out a slight giggle that was louder than you anticipated and Tobin shoots you a sharp glare. "Alright alright lets go Tobs, you have a boyfriend" Whitney said, slightly embarrassing her friend as she yanks her arm through our door into the living room of our townhouse. 

The four of you walk upstairs to finish unpacking. You and Brittani share a room while Tobin and Whitney are across the hall. "Top or bottom bunk roomie?" Britt asks you. "Actually I'm going to take the bottom. I tend to throw back a few beers here and there and it might be too hard for me to climb the ladder all incoherent and such" she quickly adds. "Hell yeah I wanted the top anyways!" you shout as you take a running leap onto your new bed. Tobin and Whit make their way over to your room after they unpacked a little more and sat down in front of your bed. "So guys, tell me about yourselves. I'm interested. You have a boyfriend Tobs?" Brittani quickly starts the conversation and picking up on the comment Whit made earlier. To your surprise, all of your new roommates were in relationships. Tobin was dating her high school sweetheart Dale. He skipped out on college and enlisted right into the navy. Whitney was also in a relationship with her boyfriend, Jordan, of 2 years. Brittani was the one who really surprised you by being in a relationship. Her personality would've never made guess that she was dating the love of her life for 6 years. After the three of them went around in a circle telling stories about their fights, and their romantic gestures, it was suddenly your turn to share your story. You told them about how you were in a relationship with Travis, someone you thought you loved for 4 years, that was until he cheated on you. You continued to explain to them how in the beginning of senior year your boyfriend would pick you up for school everyday until one day he texted you and said that he couldn't. "I had to have my mom drop me off that day. I was already 20 minutes late to homeroom, and when I pulled up to the curb and got out of the car, I saw my friend Nicki get out of Travis' truck." "That bitch!" Tobin shouted being completely intrigued in the story. "What happened next?" Whitney asked. "Well I found out that those two have been talking for awhile before I actually caught them riding to school together so I broke up with him that day and I haven't talked to him since" you added. The three of them continued to say they were surprised that you weren't more heartbroken over a wasted 4 years and nonetheless betrayed by one of your friends. It wasn't something you could really explain to yourself either. "Has there been anybody else since then?" Brittani asks. All of a sudden your throat gets dry and it's hard to swallow. You all seemed like you were bonding and you weren't sure if telling them about the girl you talked to over the summer would make them resent you, or feel weird around you. "Well sort of I guess, but it didn't really go anywhere. She was from a different high school and got a scholarship to play soccer at Penn State so it kind of ended before it started" you added to the conversation, nervous about how your new friends would react. " _She?_ " Whitney asked in a tone that you weren't sure if it was a tone of interest or disgust. "That's awesome!" both Britt and Tobs shouted. Whitney still had a puzzled look on her face but then added "Whatever makes you happy! I'm in full support. But does that make you _bi-sexual?"_ You could feel the blood rush to your cheeks and your temperature rise a little. You never really did know what to consider yourself and weren't really sure if you believe in labels but you always found yourself attracted to girls more than guys. "I mean, I'm not really sure to be honest. Lately I have been looking at girls more than I ever thought I would so I would probably lean more towards liking girls at the moment" you add to the conversation unsure if saying you're attracted to girls will scare away your new friends. The three girls just look at you and nod in acceptance and before things get any more awkward you shout "Alright I'm starving can we go to the dining hall to get something to eat?" "Thank god, I was starting to think none of you ever ate" Tobin interjected as she ran out of your room to put her shoes on. As the four of you are walking on the sidewalk across campus to the dining hall you feel an arm link to yours. When you look over in shock you see that it's Whitney who is giving you a bashful smile. "I'm sorry if I made it awkward in there when you were telling us about your summer. It's just that I come from a small town and I've never actually been friends with anybody that was gay, or even half gay. If that's what you are.." Whit started to ramble. "But I just wanted to let you know that as long as you're happy i'm happy and I am in no way going to judge you regardless of who you decide to be with" she finshes. A feeling of acceptance and happiness hit you, and in that moment you realized that this was the place, and they were your people. It was going to be the four of you being best friends for the rest of your lives. 

You all arrive at the dining hall where you're all easily overwhelmed by the number of people. You swipe your card to get in and wait in line to get shrimp scampi and roast beef for dinner. Honestly you're surprised that a university would serve this type of meal and you begin to wonder if this campus could be any more of a better fit for you! The four of you join the rest of the basketball team at a long table in the back of the dining hall. Your captain Alicia makes everybody go around the table to introduce themselves including one interesting fact that nobody knows. After introductions the entire team is filling the dining hall with loud laughs and jokes. You step away from the table to go refill your drink and when you return you see your housemates sending eye daggers to a table across the dining hall. The table was filled by preppy looking girls who honestly in your opinion looked a little snoody and seemed to be exchanging whispers with each other and returning the glares my teammates were giving them. "Who are they, and why are we starring at them like we want to kill them?" you ask. "They're the soccer girls. Apparently the tall skinny one over there is talking to Drew, one of the guys we met earlier." Brittani said. It wasn't short after until Tobin added her opinion, "Yeah and apparently since we're neighbors that means we are trying to hook up with them. Troy is texting me right now saying that her and her friends already came over and made a stink about us "flirting" with them earlier. Like what, we were just saying hi." "Wait, wait, you already have Troy's number?" you say under your breath to Tobin as she just shoots you a playful grin. 

You haven't even noticed that your friends left you to get more food and it was just you and your captain Alicia at the table. Alicia was clearly gay. You could tell by her muscular physique, her long basketball shorts, baggy men's t-shirt, and the rainbow wristband she was wearing on her right wrist was a dead give away. Harris!" you hear being shouted from the end of the table as Alicia walked towards you. "I don't want this to sound rude or for you to get offended by me asking you this but are you a brother?" You look at her like she has three heads. "A brother? What does that mean?" you ask. "Oh you know, a _brother_. Like play on the same team as us "bro's" she said while pointing at her equality bracelet. In your head you began to think "I knew it!" "she was totally gay, I was right" but before you could tell her the truth and say yes, or that you at least think so, the words "Uh no, I'm not" escaped your lips. You didn't want to make eye contact with her just in case she could tell you were lying so you decided to look up towards the soccer girls again to see if they were still gossiping from earlier. And that's when you saw her. 

She was tall, but not too tall. Maybe 5'6; for sure shorter than you. She had long brunette hair and deep brown eyes that you swear you could see sparkle from the other side of the dining hall. When she sat down one, of her teammates cracked a joke and that's when you saw a smile like you have never seen before. A wide smile that spread from ear to ear filled with the most beautiful teeth. A smile that sent a jolt through your body and began to make you blush. Alicia was sitting there watching you admire the soccer player from afar. "Who is that?" you ask in complete tone of admiration. "And you say you're not a bro?" Alicia laughs while hitting you in the arm, but you were too invested in admiring the brunette to even notice. "Her name is Ali Krieger." Alicia adds. "She's some new coming soccer star that their coach recruited out of Virginia. She's pretty cute huh?" giving you a playful nudge. Alicia notices the blood rush to your cheeks and decides to leave you with a pat on the back and a little chuckle before returning to her seat. Shortly after you find your gaze interrupted by being put in a headlock by Tobin. "Whatcha looking at buddy?" she asked in a playful tone. You just shook your head and laughed at how wound up she was hoping she didn't notice you starring at the breathtaking soccer player across from you. The four of you finally leave and retire back in your dorm room to watch a movie. While the three of them were all cuddled up on your bunk scared of the movie they picked, you couldn't help but be stuck in a trance. You weren't even thinking about the movie or how your friend would jump and scream every five seconds. All you could think about was the soccer player from dinner. All you could think about was her, Ali Krieger. 


	2. A Rough Transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali is having a hard time transitioning to the college. Her relationship is on the rocks and things with soccer aren't going her way but she makes a new friend and suddenly finds that being somewhere else besides home is becoming easier and easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ali's pov

"Krieger!" you hear your coach shout from the end of the hallway even though you pretend not to. You had a rough practice and you knew you were in for a lecture once he caught up to you. "What's going on with you? Is everything alright, you seem a little off." Mike asks after he catches up to you. You reply and tell him that you think you're a little homesick and that you're just having a hard time adjusting. You don't dare tell him your somewhat boyfriend, Beau, if he even deserves that title, has been sleeping with other girls since you left for school. You figure he wouldn't care about your relationship anyway and would just tell you to keep your head down and continue to grind it out. "We have our season opener in two weeks against Penn State and they're an extremely good competitor, I need you to be ready. Do you think you can have all this sorted out by then?" he said in a questionable tone but you knew it was more of a statement. You nod respectfully and walk into the locker room.

When you walk into the locker room you hear your teams star forward Tess ranting. She was always a loose cannon and more often than not was mad about something. "Who the hell is that Harris chick on the basketball team? Do any of you know her?" you hear Tess collectively ask the team. You've heard of the girl, and maybe have seen her once or twice on campus, but not enough to speak up to the clearly angry Tess who was seeking answers. "Her little ex girlfriend Emily plays for Penn state with my friend and she's telling me that people think I had a thing with Emily because of that Harris chick. I ain't no dyke!!" Tess continued to spew anger. "Alright Tess that's enough!" you hear your captain Jamie shout from across the locker room. "you need to settle down and we aren't going to talk like that in my locker room do you understand?" Tess shakes her head but you could still see the steam pouring from the girl's ears. Tess was from a town close to Ashlyn so more than likely they knew the same people. Emily happened to be one of these people. You never really pegged Tess to be a girl that got truly upset over something and when you looked at her you couldn't tell if she was upset or just angry. "Hey i'll walk with you back to campus and you can talk to me if you would like" you offer. Tess nodded, grabbed her bag, and followed you out of the locker room.

"It's so god damn frustrating" Tess began to vent. "I went surfing with Emily a few times and we were friends. That's it." You notice that Tess is getting worked up again so you calmly try to talk her down. "Alright well have you talked to Ashlyn? Maybe she really hasn't said anything and maybe this is just a big mis..." In the middle of your sentence you hear "HEY!" and as you look up you see the forward take off down the sidewalk chasing after a tall blonde wearing a black snapback. "ASHLYN!" Tess continues to shout. You see the poor blonde purposely trying to avoid a conversation with the angry forward and decide you need to chase after Tess. By the time you catch up to her she has already stopped the blonde and began interrogating her. "Look I don't even really know you and I'm getting hunted down after my English class?" "Unbelievable" you hear the blonde let out a sigh. She hasn't noticed you were standing next to Tess yet but you noticed her. Her hair was a perfect mixture of blonde with brown underneath with loose curls still in tact.  Her black snapback made her hazel eyes shine brighter and in which you became lost. Tess made a smart comment and the blonde let out a sarcastic giggle which exposed her dimple on her left cheek. You noticed how she had on loose basketball shorts, a black and white baseball tee and had her backpack slung over one shoulder and you began to wonder how such a simple outfit looked so well thought out and put together. "I swear I'll beat the shit out of you if I hear anything comes from your mouth again" is what makes you snap out of your trance. "Tess!" you shout. The blonde makes eye contact with you and you quickly apologize for how Tess completely bombarded her on her way home from class. "I'm so sorry. She's just upset. We're going to go. I'm sorry again" you find yourself apologizing for your friend. The blonde looks at you like you're part to blame and quickly adds "I mean it's fine I just don't want to be walking out of class to find myself getting jumped by a mob of soccer girls. That's not really on my bucket list this year" the blonde finishes and continues walking down the sidewalk to her dorm.

"Tess what the hell! You can't be doing stuff like that. You told her you were going to beat the shit out of her in the middle of campus with like a hundred witnesses" you yell towards Tess. "Whatever, she had it coming. What took you so long to jump in. Jesus." she replied. On your walk home you can't help but think to yourself why you noticed the blonde like you did. Tess follows you back to your dorm room where you meet your roommates Sydney, Alex, and Heather. Drew was there with Sydney and Tess began to tell them what happened. Of course Drew laughed; he always loved fights or any type of confrontation. "Then this one here was distracted or something. She was just starring at the girl instead of backing me up. I was like What the hell Kriegs" Tess started to explain before she was interrupted by Syd. "Ew all those basketball girls piss me off. Ever since they were trying to get with you all on move in day" Syd gestured towards Drew. "They weren't trying to get with us. At least the one Tess just almost killed wasn't. I'm pretty sure she's gay" Drew proposed to the group gathered in your living room. "Double ew!" fell from Syd's mouth, and "Oh my god yeah" slipped out of Alex's in the back of the room. You're not sure why they were all annoying you by acting like this. This was no different from how they normally talked about people. It was no surprise Alex agreed with Syd; she's never had an opinion of her own. Tess continues to talk about the interaction between her and the basketball player while you're drowning yourself in thoughts. You didn't even know this girl and you felt the need to defend her. It was bothering you that all of your friends were bashing her and you had no idea why. You found your way back to thinking of the blonde's hazel eyes and how they brightened even more when she would smirk and expose her dimple, or how you could see the bulge of the blondes bicep through her shirt. You even found yourself thinking that the basketball players voice was more girly than you would have expected, and that it was cute when she let out that little sarcastic chuckle. Thankfully your thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of your phone. After being pulled out of your weird thoughts, you were relieved to see Beau's name on your screen. You've been with Beau for about 3 months and right now, regardless of how dreadful you were sure the conversation between you two was going to be, you were relieved that you could be taken away from the thoughts you were having about the blonde that just left your mind running in circles. 


	3. Practice, Practice, Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn's pov

Practice has been going on for about a week now and you're starting to find yourself in an extremely comfortable position. Coach Daniels was having individual meetings in his office and you could honestly say that you weren't worried. "Harris!" your assistant coach CJ shouts from the end of the hallway summoning you for your one on one.  However, when you get into the office it isn't actually a one-on-one, its a one on three. Coach Daniels, CJ, and your captain Alicia were all waiting for you which made you more nervous than you had anticipated. "So Harris, how do you think you did during tryouts?" Coach Daniels asked. Even though you know you were phenomenal you answer with a humble response, "I think I did okay, there are some things I need to work on though." After the meeting Alicia walked you out and you both decided on getting an ice bath in the training room. As the two of you literally race to the trainers, you run into a group of girls as you round the corners. Of course its the group of girls on campus that don't like you, the soccer girls. "Watch where you're going Jesus" Sydney shouts to you while giving you the most powerful death glare you've ever seen in your life. The entire soccer team looks at you and Alicia like you have the the plague; all except one. "Are you okay?" Ali asks you. It takes you a minute to answer but since you're feeling extremely uncomfortable with 17 other girls staring at you, you quickly nod and continue to the training room. 

 

"That was really weird... Why do they all hate you?" Alicia asks you. You don't really know how to respond because you're not sure of the reason yourself, but you just shrug and change the subject and get into the tub full of ice. You're not sure what's up with Alicia today but she seems to be trying to find out every detail about your life. "So I heard that you had a girlfriend this summer. Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to pry into your personal life but I'm just curious I guess." Oh god, you didn't want to bring up Emily ever again. You're pretty sure that she broke your heart and talking about it would just stir up the feelings that you tried to bury. Even though it was uncomfortable you told Alicia everything. You told her that you met her at a soccer tournament and that she messaged you online and you two decided to meet up and hang out. You found yourself attracted to her so quickly that you overlooked somethings you've thought were sketchy. "We talked, hung out, kissed, did everything for a good three months until one day she decided to tell me she had a girlfriend" you told Alicia. The words still stung as they came out of your mouth and you can't decide if its because you're still hurt to if you're just angry. Many people would've ended it there but for some reason you believed her when she said that overtime she was going to leave Jenny for you. Jenny was her girlfriend for almost two years and she was gorgeous; absolutely stunning. You creeped her Facebook, and Emily's Facebook, and as far as you were concerned they looked like the happiest couple. You told Alicia how sick you felt for talking to a girl that was in a relationship but you just couldn't pull yourself away from her. You needed to talk to her, text her, and hang out with her; so you continued to try, and she continued to lie. Two months after knowing she had a girlfriend you decided enough was enough, and you ended it; whatever it was between you two. Since then you found yourself struggling meeting somebody knew but then Alicia told you her story and that you two were both similar. The two of you really bonded during that ice bath. She helped you come to terms with your sexuality, how to be comfortable with yourself and who you've become, and how to grow from your past and even though you didn't say it out loud, you couldn't thank her enough.

 

* * *

 

 

It's only been 3 days since your meeting with Coach Daniels and you already feel like he's putting more pressure on you than he is with the other girls. Today;s practice has been absolute hell for you. You can't make a free throw, you're late on your sprints, you turned over the ball and you were driving to the basket out of control. Today was just not your day. "5 on 5, half court! Game to 10, losing team does a suicide under 1:10. Harris you better pick yourself up, lets go!" You hear Coach Daniels scream from the opposite sideline. You're matched up against Tobin. She's fast. She has fast feet and even faster hands. The first couple of times she lets you pull up for a jumper, but around the third play you decide to drive left. Immediately she steals the ball and passes to Alicia down low for an easy basket. You can see your coach throw his towel on the ground so instead of making him more mad, you decide to try again the next play. This time you fake left and go right, you have an open lane and go up for a layup. Out of the corner of your eye you see Alicia coming in for the block but instead of staying on her feet, she jumps. It was more like a tackle instead of a block, and when you came down to land on your feet that's when you heard it, the pop. "God damnit!" you scream as tears are flooding your cheeks. This was it, you knew what happened but couldn't bring yourself to look down at your ankle. You looked up to see your coach running towards you but you quickly realized it wasn't to see if you were okay but to literally pick you up and push you to the side of the drill so the other players could keep playing. Chelsea and Stackie rushed over to your side and tried taking off your shoe which only made you scream even louder. Chelsea and Stackie were the two student athletic trainers who were watching your practice while Ang, the head trainer was watching over the soccer teams. The two girls scoop you up and take you into the training room, place you on a cot, and cut off your tall sock figuring it would be less painful that way than pulling it off. As soon as you look down at your now mangled ankle, all you see is black... it bruised immediately which was never a good sign. "Ouch, yup thats a good one" you hear Ang say as she walks in the door. She comes over and evaluates your range of motion while ripping your ankle in all sorts of directions. As soon as your coach walks through the door she says "third degree sprain, and a pretty good one at that." "How long? How long will she be out of practice?" Coach Daniels asks her in an irritated tone. "Easily a month, most likely two, and thats will constant treatment" Ang rebuttals. Coach Daniels made a face, one you could tell that he was irritated but couldn't do anything else but accept her answer. Tears continued to fall down your face even though you knew there was nothing you could do. About half an hour later practice ended and all of your friends flooded the training room to check and see of you were okay. And did the best that she could in wrapping it, she gave you extra bags to ice all night when you were home, and gave you a pair of crutches so you could actually go places. The pain was terrible, no amount of Ibuprofen could help, and you were feeling completely defeated. Your coach was mad at you, your ankle was one torn ligament away form being mangled, you still had to sleep on the top bunk and that was nearly impossible for you to do. Everybody was sleeping and you just laid awake at night crying about how you were home sick, how your classes were hard, you were sexually confused, and now you broke your ankle during your preseason. You realized that it really couldn't get any worse than this, this was the downfall. 


End file.
